From Vice, A tragedy

ACT I

Outside. We see the corners of two houses. There are bushes planted between them. Flowers also decorate the fronts of both houses.

Scene 1 – Enter Sam, Allie, Ben, and Randy. Allie is dressed in such a way as to indicate she is a member of a very conservative religion. It should look fairly uncomfortable. She will wear something similar throughout. The men are dressed conservatively.

Sam: The sign is down. I guess that someone bought
This place. What kind of neighbors will they be?
I hope they’re moral and do as they ought.
To know that, we will have to wait and see.

Allie: Don’t judge them, Sam, before you get to know
Them. We will see if each is a black crow
Or swan-white, full of grace and beautiful.

Sam: If they all shine with grace or else are dull
From evil living, I will know for sure
When I meet them. I’ll know if they are pure.

Ben: And if they’re not? What will we do with them
Beside us? It could be a real problem.

Randy: Can virtue live this close to wicked vice?
I hope they’re good, else we’ll pay the price.

Allie: I’m sure that they’ll be fine. They’re moving here,
So they must know that our community
Is very ethical. I doubt they’d leer
At us or try to foster enmity.

Sam: I hope you’re right or, if you’re not, that they
Are open to conversion. This, I pray.

[Exit all.]

Scene 2 – Enter Carter, Nancy, Albert, Barney, Britney, and Lindsey. Carter and Nancy are dressed like the upper-middle-class professionals they are. Albert is dressed like a typical teenaged boy. Barney is dressed flamboyantly, advertising to all his homosexuality. Britney and Lindsey are wearing miniskirts and/or short-shorts, tops leaving little to the imagination, and heels. Each should wear variations on these outfits throughout the first two acts.

Carter: Well, here we are. The movers say they’ll be
Here soon, so we can get moved in. Are we
Still happy with the bedrooms that we chose?

Nancy: The people that I saw as we drove in –
They made me nervous, like they all are part
Of some big cult. I don’t think we’ll fit in.

Carter: Oh, don’t be silly, hon. No matter where
We live, all people are the same. They can
Be reasoned with; they all love one another.
We also should be sensitive to how
These people live. We cannot judge the way
They dress or eat or live their lives. We let
Them live their lives, and they’ll let us live ours.

Barney: This place is marvelous. I hope that there
Are lots of real cute boys around cause I
Am feeling hungry. Do you think the boys
Around this town are out and open too?

Britney: I want my clothes and stuff to get here soon.
I’m bored. I want to get my room set up.

Nancy: Have patience, dear. The truck will be here soon.

Lindsey: Well, Barney better keep away from my
Boyfriends this time, ‘cause me and Britney hate
It when he hits on them and runs them off.

Barney: I didn’t run them all off, Lindsey. Rick
Kept coming over. You were an excuse.

Lindsey: I know, you jerk. And how am I supposed
To get another boyfriend when the whole
School thinks that Rick’s my boyfriend? Why should I
Be forced to do without so he could stay
With you in secret? He was in the closet
And I’m the one who suffered. You had fun.

Barney: He was a lot of fun. Too bad we moved.

Albert: I wish the two of you would quit. You both
Annoy me with your pettiness. You both
Are superficialities, no more.
It’s sex and shoes and sex and clothes and sex
And blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. There’s more to life.
The world has gone to shit and you are both
A pair of gaping assholes. Fuck you both.

Nancy: I wish you wouldn’t say those kinds of things
To Barney, Lindsey, Britney. It’s not nice.

Carter: The boy’s expressing himself, as he should.
It doesn’t matter if you disagree:
Don’t stifle his expression or his speech.

Albert: Oh, shut up, dad. Annoy somebody else.

Lindsey: Don’t talk to dad that way, you selfish jerk.

Albert: Go find a football team to fuck, you floosie.

Lindsey: “You floosie”? When you from, the fifties, jerk?

Albert: I won’t apologize for having a
Vocabulary from which to draw insults.
The only thing you seem to have is “jerk.”

Carter: Not everyone’s as widely read as you.

Nancy: I really don’t think that’s the point. I wish
The two of you would stop the fighting. Moving
Is already so stressful as it is.

Carter: The truck is here. At last. Let’s go and show
Them where to put the furniture. I’m glad
We finally can move into our home.

[Exit all.]